Thoughts in the Key of B

Thou Shalt Avoid Them At All Costs

2010-05-17T11:35:00.005-05:00

What is it about people that disagree with us that we find so intimidating? Why do we feel the need to disassociate ourselves and avoid them? (or in FB language- "un-friend" them?) Why do we deem them or their beliefs "dangerous"?

Do we not trust ourselves enough to be around them, as if we could somehow be persuaded to their way of thinking against our will?

Is it that we have so much pride that we think we have it all figured out, and anyone who thinks differently than us is either delusional or deceived?

Or is it that they make us uncomfortable, disturbing our world where we think we have it all figured out, by making us think about things we don't want to think about, and asking questions we don't want to know the answers to?

I love hearing from people who think differently than I do- it stretches me and forces me to look at things a little differently. And even if it doesn't always change the way I see things, I've still learned something from the process.

Some Thoughts about Tithing

2009-12-22T22:51:00.002-06:00

Just some random thoughts, born out of some frustration I've experienced recently.

If the "principle" of tithing really works the way most (Pentecostal/charismatic) churches teach that it does, then how could a person who has followed the principle faithfully for decades still struggle just to make it with basic needs month to month, sometimes not even being able to afford those basic necessities (food, lace to live, heat in winter, etc.)? Aren't they supposed to be blessed with "more than they can contain"(Malachi 3)? Either God's blessings aren't good enough, or there's something wrong with that teaching.
Likewise, how could a person who does not follow the principle have everything that they need and more every month? According to the "principle", aren't they supposed to be under a curse (Malachi 3)? Either that curse isn't strong enough, or there's something wrong with that teaching.
I work for an insurance company. When they pay me every two weeks, they do not require me to give them 10% of my paycheck (aside from deductions for taxes, insurance premiums, 401(k), etc.). However, this is often the case in institutional churches who have paid staff members and teach the tithing "principle"-they require their paid staff to give back 10% of their paycheck. What a great arrangement. That just doesn't make any sense to me. Many times church staff members don't even get paid enough to live on, yet they are still required to pay their 10%. So, many times they and their families have to do without things they need, or fall behind on monthly bills, so that they can pay this 10% and not risk losing their jobs. Something's just not right with that.

Just some things to think about, friends. Some things look good on paper, and sound good coming from silver-tongued orators, but do they work in real life?

Raised in Church

2009-11-12T15:58:00.002-06:00

I learned a lot of things being raised in church my whole life. A lot of those things were good. But there were many things I learned from pastors and teachers that I later discovered just weren't in the Scriptures at all. Some things were the result of someone misunderstanding Scripture, some things were the result of lifting verses out of their intended context, and some things just flat out had no Scriptural basis at all.

Sometimes it frustrates me, but mostly it just challenges me to examine everything and subject it to the Spirit, which God gave to each of us as believers to "guide us into all truth."

Has this happened to you? What are some of those things that you have discovered?

Know that you are in good company...

2009-11-05T11:16:00.003-06:00

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble." (Matt. 5:10-12)

I just read this passage this morning. I've read it before, though not in this version, and it was encouraging to me. I've been struggling with speaking things on my heart at the risk of disrupting relationships and "disturbing the peace." Can anyone else identify with this?

I'm A Recovering Poisonous Preacher

2009-10-01T08:43:00.006-05:00

My friend Stephanie posted a link to this blog on her Facebook page. Here's a snippet:

"The underlying foundation of all religion is performance, whether it's a tribal dance around a campfire to satisfy the fire god or a dead religious activity performed week after week by an evangelical Christian with the intent of impressing his God. It's all religious performance and God isn't impressed by our performance. What impresses Him is faith. 'Without faith it is impossible to please Him' (Hebrews 11:6). He couldn't care less about religious ritual void of life. God is in the business of Life. Nothing else interests Him. He is interested in living relationships, not dead religion."

The author references 2 Kings 4:38-41, and likens the story of Elisha's servant mixing fruit of a wild vine in with the stew to someone taking "the liberating gospel of God’s grace and mixed the wild gourds of religious performance in the same pot with it." He goes on to say,

"The idea of religious performance is a wild plant which poisons the grace of God and causes it to cease to be edible, although I did eat and serve it to my church for many years. The tragedy of this kind of poison is that it won't kill you, but will be just toxic enough to keep you sick for the rest of your life."

This blog hit home with me, as I used to do the same thing. I used to preach grace on one hand, but stress the things we had to continually do to "be a good Christian". I judged others based on their religious performance, and made decisions on whether people were good enough to be involved with certain ministries, or "be on stage", based on how well they lived up to what I, or my pastor, our our denomination, thought were God's standards.

I used fear and manipulation, disguised as "illustrated sermons", to dole out this witch's brew of grace and performance. I had no idea what I was doing at first. I truly believed that I was merely trying to help people have a better relationship with God, and to keep things pure so that God's presence was not stifled or quenched because of unrepented "sin in the camp". But as more and more people got hurt or left altogether because of what I, or the pastor(s), or the church had done, I began to question if what we were doing really had anything to do with God's love at all, or if it was really more about control. The desire for others to conform to OUR image, not God's.

More than anything else, this is what I regret about my time spent in "ministry"- that I was so ignorant, and arrogant, that I truly couldn't see that I was hurting people in my zeal to save them. I've made some really bad choices in my life, but for some reason I really have trouble letting go of the guilt from this.

If any of those I've hurt are reading this now, please know that I am very sorry.

God and Socialism

2009-09-21T00:13:00.007-05:00

First, the new Voice of the Heretics podcast has been posted- get it at iTunes here or download from the podcast page here.

Now for something I was thinking about last week. In today's political world, the word "socialism" gets thrown around a lot. Whenever it is mentioned, I've noticed a couple of things. 1.) A lot of people don't really know what "socialism" really means, and so perhaps because of that, 2.) a lot of people seem to have a real fear of anything that seems like "socialism", or perhaps more accurately, anything that their leaders or congressmen or NPR labels as such.

Taking that last point even further, I've noticed that there seems to be this ingrained fear in Americans, especially white, Republican, fundamentalist Christian Americans, that people are going to get things that they did not work for, earn, and do not deserve.

While I understand the concerns, I can't help but be thankful that God doesn't share this same fear. After all, isn't that at the heart of the gospel? He sent Jesus to die so that we could have something that we don't have to work for or earn, and that we definitely don't deserve.

That's all. Just thinking.

Law Enforcement

2009-08-28T22:07:00.002-05:00

This Tuesday, September 1st, hundreds of new laws adopted during the Texas legislative session will go into effect. One of those laws makes it illegal to use a cell phone while driving in an active school zone, unless using a hands-free device. The Lubbock police department has said it will not enforce this law here, basically because of the costs involved in posting specific signs, without which officers cannot enforce the ban. There are no immediate plans to post these signs.

This made me think, "Well geez, then that law is useless here. There's no point." Although it is a good safety guideline, that law is not binding because nobody is enforcing it.

Then that reminded me of Moses' law in the Old Testament. Sure, some of those laws are good guidelines for living, but that law is not binding. Why? Because nobody is enforcing it. (Rom. 8:1-4)

New Voice of the Heretics Podcast

2009-08-23T22:16:00.002-05:00

Just did a new podcast today- check it out here. (You can also download the podcast from iTunes- just search for "voth" or "voice of the heretics".)

Kam, Steph, Dave and I talked about Jesus' command to love our neighbors. What does that look like? Just who is our neighbor? How does religion warp the reality of Jesus' statement? It was a great conversation, I thought. We could probably have talked much longer on the subject, but we had gone on long enough :)

In case you missed it (like I did- I had family in town), check out last week's podcast. We had Stacey Robbins on and it was a great conversation with her about her faith journey, "truth", and relationship with God.

Much Too Exciting...

2009-08-17T21:19:00.002-05:00

WARNING: This post is really more for my friends that don't attend church. If you're on of my church friends, please stop reading, as this post MAY upset you. It may not, but I'm just giving you fair warning.

Ok if you're still reading I assume you will find this story humorous. If you ignored the warning above, and you are somehow offended or angered by this post, please don't comment.

We were eating dinner this ebening and I decided to ask Jaxson about church. Our conversation proceeded as follows:

Me: "Jaxson, would you like to go to church sometime?"
Jaxson: "No, I already went. With my Nana."
Me: "Oh you went that time with Nana?"
Jaxson: "Yeah, I already went."
Me: (chuckling) "So once was enough for you, huh?"
Jaxson: (frowning)"Yeah, it was too exciting."

That last line of his was an Imagination Movers reference. I have no idea what he was thinking, if he really thought it was too exciting or not, but my wife and I laughed out loud for a good while. It was too funny.

New Podcast

2009-07-27T15:13:00.006-05:00

Well, I suppose I'll post a new blog, as our network just went down at the office and I can't do anything of value while it is down. Crap. I REALLY needed to get some more things done before I left work today.

First up, let me tell you about a new podcats I recently became a part of. It's called The Voice of the Heretics, and you can find it at TheHeresy.net(or here). Hopefully soon it will also be available on iTunes. My firend Kameron has done a great job of putting together the site, as well as organizing, hosting, and producing the podcast, all on a shoe-string budget, so head on over to the site and give him some love. There's a forum, chat room, articles, blogs, list of recommended reading, and lots more, not to mention the podcast, which is th reason for the website in the first place. We are not professional in any way, but I think the first podcast, in which a few of us tell part of our stories, turned out pretty good. It was a lot of fun.

Next, I have decided that I'll probably stay away from posting controversial thoughts via my FB status. But that means that my blog will probably be more active with such posts. I've also decided that I'm not going to really respond to comments, whether I feel the need to or not. Sometimes it just gets out of hand, I think mostly because of my selfish need to be understood. When people post comments that I feel completely miss the point, or that demonstrate to me a lack of understanding me personally or where I'm coming from, I'll no longer respond to clarify anything. I don't want to be seen as argumentative, because that is not my intention or desire. I merely want to share thoughts in the hopes that others who may be thinking the same things would read them and know that they are not alone, that they are not crazy for thinking these things, and that it is ok to ask questions. God can handle it.

So if you comment on one of my blogs, I reserve the right to respond or not. If I don't respond to you, please don't assume that I either agree or don't agree with what you said. I also reserve the right to delete any comments that I see as being argumentative or demeaning to any others. It's my blog, and I can say what I want- so if you don't like what I have to say, please just move on and refrain from attacking me or any others who post here. I'm just trying to work out my salvation. Sometimes I'll get it right, and sometimes I won't, but ultimately every person is accountable only to God for their beliefs. I dont' wish to force my own beliefs onto others, so please don't try to force yours on me.

So let me just say this: I AM NOT AGAINST PEOPLE GOING TO CHURCH. To me, it doesn't really matter. If that works for you, great! If it doesn't work for you, find something that does! What I AM against is the system of religious obligation, that tells us that we have to do extra things to earn God's approval, favor, or love. I labored too long under that system and it is only now that I am outside it that I can see it for what it really was. I can also see that even though I am outside of that system, some of that system is still inside me. So I am constantly evaluating myself, to find what it is about me that has the fragrance of Father and what just stinks.

My desire is to free people from that system and the lies that religion tells about God. If that means that I upset some religious people along the way, then so be it. I get told constantly that Christ is our example, and we need to strive to be more like Jesus. If that's really true, we should be upsetting religious people, because Jesus did it all the time, and called them on the carpet for their religiosity. How many religious people have you offended lately? I do it at least on a weekly basis.

Well I'll sign off for now, thought I have much more to say. I'm working on a blog called " I Was a Christian Douchebag", which some of you hopefully will relate to, bu which will also probably offend some of you too, even though it is not meant to. I'll have a blog soon posting the rest of my "I've always been uncomfortable" list, along with some additions that other people sent me, mostly from Twitter(they didn't crucify me there). But probably before both of those I plan to post a blog talking about, as Wayne Jacobsen says, Christians "shoulding" on themselves and others. I've noticed, even among some "free-believers", that there are so many lists of "shoulds" and "should nots"- and this is just the kind of thing we're trying to free people from, and really hat Jesus came to free us from.

So until next time, love God, and love people, because everything else hangs on those two things.

Things I've Learned This Week

2009-07-02T10:48:00.005-05:00

Here are some things I have learned this week:

It makes some people uncomfortable when you start questioning things and talking about things that make you uncomfortable.
Some people automatically assume that just because you don't come to the same conclusions as them, that you need to read the Scriptures more.
Some people assume that just because you stopped attending weekly religious services, that you either a) were hurt and/or offended, b) are backslidden, or c) got burnt out.
It doesn't matter what you say to these people, they will still hold on to these assumptions, and use them to dismiss what you have to say, because you make them uncomfortable (see #1).
Some people still think that the USA is now, or was at some time in the past, a Christian nation. England was a Christian nation, ruled by the church, and we overthrew that rule to found a nation NOT on Christianity, but on the freedom of religion, so that everyone was free to practice whatever they believed, whether Christian or not.
Charlie Chaplin's remains were once stolen and held for ransom.

This is only a test...

2009-04-23T12:38:00.003-05:00

No, it really is. This post is just to see if my Blogger blog will be updated automatically to my Facebook Notes. And now I am wondering why I need so many online crapplications. Blogger, Myspace, Facebook, now Twitter, not to mention my stale website, Flickr account, and Joe's Shirt Shack. What'll they think of next?

Coming Out

2009-04-08T10:58:00.002-05:00

(This blog originally appeared on my Myspace blog on May 28th, and I wanted to post it here to get this blog up to date, for those who may not have read the original post. I have revised dates to make it current- where this blog states "16 months", the original stated 6 months. I have also corrected a few spelling, grammar, and sentence structure errors.)

No, not THAT kind of coming out. But I got your attention, didn't I?

There's actually a couple of different ways you could take the title of this blog. It could either mean me "coming out" about what we've really been doing the past year and a half, or it could be a reference to us "coming out" of the institutional church system. I'll explain that in a moment.

I've been promising this blog for several weeks, and I haven't delivered yet because, quite honestly, it's been difficult to write. I've started it several times and haven't been happy with it. I'm just not that eloquent at writing; I feel more at ease talking face to face with people about what I feel and believe, even though I'm even worse at speaking than I am at writing. I just feel that I'm better able to express things in a personal setting.

Anyway, I know that once this is out there, there are going to be many people that, at best, quietly disagree with me, and at worst, out and out stop associating with me/us because of the path we've chosen. And though I've always been a bit of a rebel, I still always fear rejection. It's one of those flaws Father hasn't seen fit to work out just yet.

So here goes. About a year and a half ago, my wife and I resigned our leadership positions and stopped attending the faith community we had been a part of for almost 9 years. For no other reason than we knew Father wanted us to. We knew he was taking us on a path that did not allow us to remain where we were. We still don't know where that path will ultimately lead us(do any of us really know?), but we do know where it has led up to this point. We actually began down this road three to four years ago, and it finally began to diverge about 2 years ago.

So what am I trying to say?(Yes, I ramble too much.) This path that Father placed us on has not led us to attend weekly meetings at another faith community. Rather, it has led us to exit the institutional church system. This may sound like silly language to you, and I apologize. I'm trying to put it into the best words I can. You might ask, "Why don't you just say you left the church?" or "Why don't you just tell us you don't go to church anymore?" My answer is that I don't feel those are accurate statements. See, I don't think I can go to, or leave, something that I am. I believe the "church" is not a building you go to or a meeting you attend, but the collective Body of Christ. And just because you stop attending a weekly gathering or don't consider yourself a member of an institution doesn't mean you are not a part of the Body of Christ, if you are a believer.

So, again, what am I saying? Plainly put, our family no longer attends weekly meetings, or "church services", as they are commonly known, nor do we have plans to. Does that mean we are not open to attending a gathering if Father places it upon our heart to do so? Absolutely not! The whole point is that we are following Him where He leads us, and if He leads us to a meeting on Sunday morning, we will be there!

Does this mean we got hurt by church? Absolutely not! Nothing could be further from the truth. We left on good terms; in fact, much better than most who find themselves in our situation. Does this mean we are backsliding? No, that's just silly. Does it mean we don't love God or Jesus as much as people who attend a weekly gathering? No way! If anything, we are growing even more in our relationship with Father- I truly believe that "church" had become a major obstacle in my relationship with Him. It had become a substitute, if you will. And I didn't even realize it. I am still learning how to relate to Father outside of the programs and packaging of the institution, but for me it has been such a refreshing time!

Does this mean I am against institutional expressions of Christianity? No! God has done and will continue to use that system to do great things and work in people. But let's be honest with ourselves- it is a man-made system. You won’t find much of what goes on in modern-day Christianity described in the stories of the New Testament Church. And I'm not talking about guitars, rock music, projector screens, fog and lights. Those things are just cultural expressions. I'm talking about things that are generally accepted as "the way" Jesus intended it to be- meeting in huge expensive buildings, ministry relegated to a few select men (or one man), rather than shared by the entire body, believers learning from one person week after week, instead of every believer learning from the sharing and experieces of every other believer, the hierarchy of pastors vs. lay people, tithing, etc, etc, etc. Many of the things we accept as part of Biblical Christianity today just can't be supported by a contextual reading of Scripture, including the supposed requirement that Christians attend a weekly "worship service".

Yes, I can hear you all throwing Hebrews 10:25 at me. Ok, so let's briefly look at it again. Different versions say it differnet ways, but isn't the context really saying don't stop meeting with each other to encourage each other and spur one another on to acts of love and good works? I just don't get how anyone could insist that Paul was referring to meeting every Sunday morning, Saturday night, or whenever you do it, and listening to a worship band and one person give their interpretation of the Scriptures. The context of this verse screams, "RELATIONSHIP!" To me, any time I am with other believers, whether it is 1 or 100, we are fulfilling Hebrews 10:25. Didn't Jesus say that wherever two or three are gathered in His name, He is there? And if we ARE the church, then anywhere two or more are together, that's a "church meeting", whether it's in a building set aside for that purpose, a coffee shop, a living room, a karate dojo, a fishing boat, or an office break room. If church is something we are, and not something we go to, then wherever we are, that's where the church is! If we have a few friends over to our house, and we share a meal, play cards, and share a little of what Father is showing us, that's Hebrews 10:25 in action! If we attend a weekly meeting and encourage each other in our faith, that's Heb. 10:25! If we attend a bible study at a coffee shop, that's Heb. 10:25 as well. The important thing is relationship- horizontally and vertically. Relationship is the whole point of Scripture. Jesus said it best when he was asked to name the greatest commandment- “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength”. And the second greatest commandment is like it- love your neighbor as yourself. He said everything in Scripture could be summed up in these two commandments(Matt. 22:37-40).

It is clear to me that Father is shaking up the organizational structure of the church. There is a rapidly growing segment of Christianity that doesn't attend regular meetings or consider itself part of a conventional church. Read some of George Barna's recent research(also here) if you don't think this is true. But that doesn't mean one expression of Christianity is any better than the other- though one may work better for one person than for another. I heard a good quote recently- God is far more interested in the contents than the container and those contents do not need a structure to keep them together.

So what's the bottom line? Father has led my family and I outside of the four walls of institutional Christianity. We don't attend meetings at a conventional "church", though we do meet occasionally, informally, and often spontaneously, with other believers to fellowship and share what Father is doing. We try each day to follow His leading. We do what we know he wants us to do, and we don't do what we don't know to do. We give of our resources, financial and otherwise, as we feel Him leading us. We try to love others as He loves us.

And as easy as it was for us to get out of the system, it is harder to get the system out of us- the institutional mindset. That has probably been the hardest part for me. But Father is working on that. And through this whole journey, which I'm sure will be a life-long process, He is doing amazing things in our lives, and revealing amazing things to us. I've never been happier in my relationship with Him, though I know I've got a long way to go. Ironically, I've never sensed myself as much in his will as I do now. And probably most importantly, I've never felt as loved by Him as I do now, nor loved Him as much- though I know his love for me has never changed no matter what I’ve done. And I think that's what it boils down to- once we truly learn to live as though we're really loved, it changes everything. When I recognize something in my life that is off, I ask, "Father, what is it about your love for me that I am not understaning or trusting, that is causing this behaviour in me?" I think all sin stems from not comprehending the love of God for us. We know it in our head, but do we really grasp it with our spirit? Eve sinned because she didn't trust God's love for her enough to know that the commandment to not eat that fruit was really for her own good. She didn't trust His love enough to know that he had her best interest at heart. Things change when you begin to understand His love for you- that was what began the paradigm shift for me, and I'm still just beginning to understand it. It's another one of those life-long journeys I'm sure.

But I'll stop now, this is way too long and it's far too late and I'm beginning to really ramble. I could blog all night about the misunderstandings we have about Father's love, and how it has been changing my life dramatically the past couple of years, but I think I'll shut it down now. Please feel free to comment, whether positive or negative. You won't hurt my feelings. I have just about overcome the needs to convince others I am right. My beliefs are just that- beliefs. They are founded on faith, and my current understanding of Scripture and Father's character and love for me. But because I am human, I know I don't have everything right and won't get it all right until He makes everything whole again. So because of that, I am open to discussion with anyone and everyone about their beliefs, as long as you understand your beliefs are just beliefs too. If something I said doesn't make sense to you, chances are I just didn't do a good job of explaining my thoughts. Please ask questions and I'll try again! Don't just jump to conclusions about what you think I said. I can't tell you how many times people have misunderstood something I said or wrote. So again, feel free to comment! It's about relationships!

If you'd like, here is a great article entitled "Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore" that echoes my beliefs and answers many questions people may have about my perceived backslidden state :)

Buy Beer with Your Tithe Money

2009-02-19T21:45:00.003-06:00

Here's a verse you're not gonna hear on Sunday morning:

“Be sure to save one-tenth of all your crops each year. Take it to the place the Lord your God will choose where he is to be worshiped. There, where you will be together with the Lord, eat the tenth of your grain, new wine, and oil, and eat the animals born first to your herds and flocks. Do this so that you will learn to respect the Lord your God always. But if the place the Lord will choose to be worshiped is too far away and he has blessed you so much you cannot carry a tenth, exchange your one-tenth for silver. Then take the silver with you to the place the Lord your God shall choose. Use the silver to buy anything you wish—cattle, sheep, wine, beer, or anything you wish. Then you and your family will eat and celebrate there before the Lord your God. Do not forget the Levites in your town, because they have no land of their own among you.” Deut. 14:22-27, NCV

I actually never knew this verse existed until just a couple of years ago. How does that verse fit in with modern-day teachings of the tithe and first fruits? Put simply, it doesn’t. The only two explanations for this are that either we are not being taught everything we need to know about the tithe(the Law actually commands around 33% giving, not just 10%), or, as I believe, Christians are not obligated to “tithe” any longer, as we are now living under the New Covenant.

I’m sure some people I know get tired of hearing me talk about tithing. So why do I keep talking about it? Because I can never explain the relief I felt when Father showed me I had been laboring under the misconception that Christians living under the New Covenant are obligated to tithe. It felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. Now I knew God was taking care of me because he loves me, not because he was obligated as a result of me pushing the right buttons and following all the rules.

But don’t take my word for it. Study it for yourself. There are many good resources out there for studying the original purpose of the tithe and what it really meant for Israel, and what it means for us today. If you’d like me to point you in the right direction, I’d be happy to give you info on many resources I have, on both sides of the issue, so you can decide for yourself.

Well, this ended up being longer than I intended but I hope this marks a return for me to more regular blogging. I don’t consider myself a writer of even average competence, so it is just my intention to blog my thoughts, however unpolished and disjointed they may seem. And I’m always interested in what you, dear readers, have to say!

"I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you..."

2006-10-16T23:22:00.000-05:00

A shiny quarter for the first person to tell me what movie, what scene that line is from!

This is a subject I've been thinking and praying about for a while. The thoughts are still in development, so forgive me if they seem somewhat disorderly.

I've heard no less than 3 teachers talk about the necessity of belonging to a local "church" body in the past week. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but the specific teaching was basically that if you wanted to really know the will of God for your life, one of the key things is you must be a part of and be faithful to a local church, meaning, a local modern institutional church.

Some really good friends of ours recently stopped attending the "church" they were a part of and weren't sure when or where they were going to attend next. They basically felt their path had diverged from that church's path, and it was time to move on. They were basically told that it wasn't God's will for them to not know where they were going next, or for them to not be a part of a local church immediately thereafter.

Where did we get this idea that you MUST be a part of a local church to be a good Christian? And how ridiculous is it to say that we can't know the will of God for our life unless we are faithful to a local church? If someone knows where this is found in the Bible, please reply or message me or call me or something, because I've looked, and I can't find it.

Yes, I know the verse "forsaking not the assembling together, as some are in the habit of doing" in Hebrews 10. But if we think that verse is referring to the modern day church, we are, at the very least, very mistaken. When early believers assembled together, it was not like "church" as we know it today. And it did not refer to a specific weekly meeting time. Whenever believers gathered, the church was there, because it was not a place, it was the people. They shared life together, shared meals, shared fellowship as the Body of Christ, no matter where they were or what they were doing. This is what the author of Hebrews was referring to.

Do believers today need fellowship with other believers? I wouldn't say they need it. If we were ever in a place where we couldn't find other believers to fellowship with, Jesus would be able to take care of us and sustain us. But should believers who are growing in a relationship with the Father desire fellowship and quality relationships with other believers? Yes!

I just don't think it has to take the form of a local church all the time. And I don't believe there is anything in the Bible to say that it must, either. You can be meeting in your home with a few other believers and experience that. You can be talking at the coffeeshop with a close Christian friend about God and be experiencing the life of the Body. You can attend a different "church" every week, and if you are genuinely connecting with the believers there, you can be experiencing Body life. I think there are so many more expressions of life in the Body of Christ than we are experiencing- and just as we limit our worship to singing, I believe we limit expressions of life in Christ and fellowship with believers to only one expression- the modern Church. And anytime you start trying to limit God, you'll never experience true freedom in life with Christ.

Once again, this may seem unorganized but please know this blog does not exhaust all my thoughts on this subject. My fingers can only take so much typing. And I tend to ramble anyway.

Please share your thoughts with me, especially my friends across the Pond. Do you believe if you are a follower of Christ that you must be attending a local church regularly and faithfully? Do you believe, as I have heard taught recently, that you cannot personally know the will of God for your life if you aren't "plugged in" to a local church? But please, if you disagree, be nice. Remember I attend modern "church" just like most of you. This blog is not intended to cause arguments, just to get some thought and healthy discussion going.

Dreams, Chaos, and Excommunication(or, Will the Real God Please Stand Up?)

2006-09-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

Anybody know what it's like to have so much going on in your head you can hardly think straight?(I almost typed "can't hardly think straight" but while I freely use Texan and southern slang when speaking I find it extremely hard to use it when I'm writing- it just seems wrong, somehow.)

Anyway, that's what's been going on in my head for some time now. I have a supply of books to last me a good 12 months or so on a wide variety of subjects. I have over 140 articles and writings(over 16 MB) saved on my USB drive, and I add more articles to it everyday. I get to thinking about a subject and go to the internet for research, opening every article I can find and copying and pasting them all into Word documents arranged by subject or specific theme. These documents often span several dozens of pages. The articles cover every angle of the subject from pros to cons and everything in between, and from all sorts of writers from all sorts of backgrounds, from educated to non-educated, traditional, contemporary, modern, and postmodern thinkers. I've had more questions about things having to do with God, the Christian journey, and modern theology in the past 2 years than I have in the 27 years of my life before that.

These questions, and subjects I'm thinking about and researching, cover just about anything and everything you can think of. Some of the things I've been really thinking, praying, and studying about lately have been the presthood of all believers, institutional "church", house church, charismatic and pentecostal worship, the modern clergy, Old Testament Law vs. the New Covenant, and tithing.(just a side note- did you know that the mosaic law didn't command Jews to give 10Ðthere were actually three different tithes, of which one was every three years, making a total of 23.3hat the Jews were commanded to give! All of these were tithes of the product of the land- produce, livestock, etc. None of them referred to income. One of them was commanded to be transported, and if it was too much to carry it could be converted to money and spent on whatever the person wanted to, even strong drink! It's true! look it up![Deut. 14:22-29])

Now some of you have had to listen to some of my musings on many subjects, so you know how my mind has been working lately. I really believe Father has brought me into a season where He is revealing things to me to take me into a new level of relationship with Him. These are not things to me that are worth arguing over, as I do not believe that they will change whether you will spend eternity with Him or not. The ONLY thing that will exclude someone from an eternity with Christ is a rejection of the gift of salvation through Jesus.(that's a whole other blog for another time.)

Now already there may be some of you thinking I'm heading off the deep end, and that's fine. But I'm to the place where I refuse to be bottle fed anymore. I refuse to let someone else cut up my food for me and feed it to me. It is time for me to feed myself, and not assume that everything that is given to me is entirely edible or good for me. I am learning to think for myself and search the scriptures for myself, to "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling". It's the beauty of being a priest- and we ALL are priests, according to the Word- I don't need someone else to hear God for me. I don't need someone else to tell me what the Bible says, nor should I depend on someone else to always do it for me. They will interpret the Scriptures according to their journey, and their journey is not the same as mine. I have a responsibility to hear what God is saying through the scriptures to me for myself.

And yes, I realize some of this could get me excommunicated. Jessica, don't go telling SAGU about this blog. lol Pretty soon Bro. Trask will be sending out a recall on my ministerial papers. But when I stand before Father at the end of the present age, it will not be good enough to say "Well, that's what they taught me!" He will just say, "Didn't I give you my Word to instruct you, a brain to think and learn, my Spirit to discern and guide, and free will to decide and choose?"

So here I am again, at the end of a long seemingly random bog. You now can see the way my brain thinks- almost like "stream of counsciousness" style writing, in a wierd sort of way. And on top of all these thoughts, amongst rethinking the God I was always taught to know an the theology I've always been taught to believe, the real God gives me these crazy dreams! Or revives dreams he planted in me long ago but I had forgotten- well just one dream, an old dream that suddenly is beginning to make sense in the context of the place he has brought me to. It is crazy to think of, but it just makes so much sense in this season of my life, with everything He's been teaching and showing me over the past two years(I often think of this time as my own renaissance period. Or my own personal Industrial Revolution, without all the industry and revolution.). Or is it just my own desire to do something new, to know Him and make Him known, to connect, to finally find a real sense of community, and to escape the mundane rut of modern evangelical Christianity?

Agh....maybe I'll never know. Maybe my blogs will never make sense. Maybe I'll never get all my books read and thoughts sorted out and my theology all worked out and my dreams realized. One thing's for certain, I have enjoyed the journey...and I can't wait to see where Father leads me next.

Sacred Pathways: Loving God According to the Way He Made You

2006-08-30T16:40:00.000-05:00

This is an article by Gary Thomas- it basically sums up what we've been discussing in our life group...let me know what you think!

Spirituality is not a "one size fits all" deal. Humanity was created as diverse, so it makes sense that we were designed to love God in different ways.

Do you ever feel guilty because the traditional quiet time just doesn't cut it for you? Are you increasingly frustrated by a "one size fits all spirituality" that most definitely does not fit you?

Don't despair! Scripture and the history of Christian tradition reveal a remarkable diversity of personal devotion. Here are nine spiritual pathways for you to consider as you seek to love God according to the way He's designed you.

The Naturalist
In Psalm 19:1, David extols nature's ability to awaken our cold hearts to God's warm presence: "The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork" (NKJV). The apostle Paul spoke of a similar reality in Romans 1:20a when he wrote, "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made." Both writers testify to the reality experienced by naturalists Ã¯ï¿½ï¿½Ã¯ï¿½ï¿½ being outdoors does something to awaken our hearts to God.

Most of God's appearances in Scripture occurred outside: Hagar in the desert, Jacob beside a river, and Moses on a mountain. In fact, the very picture of heaven on earth was the Garden of Eden Ã¯ï¿½ï¿½Ã¯ï¿½ï¿½ not a cathedral! Not a Starbucks. And certainly not a shopping mall. Adam and Eve enjoyed a close walk with God in a garden. Of course, others met God inside, in the holy of holies, but naturalists find more spiritual stimulation in a natural setting rather than in a cleverly crafted human one.

If you find that you can't sit still at your desk without falling asleep, or that you're bored by trying to comb through devotional books while lying on your bed, consider getting outside and using nature to help you see and experience God's glory.

The Sensate
The best avenues for some believers to commune with God are the five senses: taste, touch, hearing, seeing, and even smelling. Just as naturalists are spiritually awakened while walking through a forest, so sensates become spiritually attuned when their senses are brought into play. Your most powerful spiritual aids might be majestic music, symbolic architecture, outstanding art, or the sensory experience of communion.

The books of Ezekiel and Revelation reveal a God who comes in a very sense-oriented way: There are loud sounds, flashing lights, even sweet tastes. God designed our bodies, so it shouldn't surprise us that he made them in such a way that what we experience through our bodies can awaken our hearts to His presence.

The Traditionalist
For you traditionalists, religion isn't a dirty word - it's an outgrowth of your relationship with God. You're designed to appreciate the role of ritual, which builds on the power of reinforced behavior. There is something profound for you in worshipping God according to set patterns - your own, or history's. You may organize your life around scheduled times of prayer, and may even choose to carefully observe the Christian calendar, aligning yourself with centuries of faith. According to Acts, both Peter and John had set times for prayer. And Paul followed the custom of praying by the riverside on the Sabbath.

In addition to establishing rituals, you may choose to make good use of Christian symbols. We tend to quickly forget even convicting insights and soul-searing truth, but carefully chosen symbols help to remind us of those truths we want to live by. Types of symbols are limited only by your imagination. Some singles wear a purity ring; others wear a cross necklace. More sophisticated forms of symbolism include people decorating with colors that coincide with the Christian calendar: White is used on Easter and Christmas as a color of joy; purple is used for Lent, Holy Week and Advent; black symbolizes Good Friday.

The Ascetic
The best way to picture an ascetic is to think of a monk, or John the Baptist - someone who goes off on his own, in an austere environment, to get his spiritual batteries charged. You like to meet God internally; you don't want the distractions of a museum or a group meeting, as you prefer to shut out the world and meet God in solitude and austerity. Your preferred environment for personal worship is silence, without any noisy or colorful stimulants.

It's likely that you're part ascetic if you sense the need to have alone time on a regular basis. You may even prefer solitary retreats, or at least a quiet place with a rather orderly environment. You and your fellow ascetics are often advocates of all night prayer vigils and many of the classical disciplines, such as fasting and biblical meditation.

The Activist
Activists follow in the footsteps of Moses, Elijah and Habakkuk; you love to meet God in the vortex of confrontation. If you're an activist, you want to fight God's battles. Church is primarily a place to collect signatures and sign up volunteers for the "real work" of the Gospel that takes place outside the church building.

As an activist, you're one of the movers and shakers of the Christian community. You may have a political bent or adopt an evangelistic emphasis, but what marks you as an activist is that you feel most alive spiritually when you are in the midst of God's active work. That's when God seems most real, most immanent and most exciting.

The Caregiver
Caregivers love God by loving others. You're the Mordecais to the world's Esthers; the Dorcas's (Acts 10:36) to the local church. Providing care and meeting needs in Jesus' name spiritually energizes you, drawing you ever closer to the Lord. For you, caregiving isn't an obligation as much as it is a threshold to intimacy with God.

Caregiving extends well beyond nursing sick people to include fixing a widow's car, serving as a volunteer firefighter, or researching a cure for a disease. A caregiver is comforted by Jesus' words, "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40, NIV). God seems nearest to you when you are looking at Him through the eyes of a sick child or hurting friend.

The Enthusiast
An enthusiast, walking in the footsteps of David, loves excitement and celebration; you probably buy far more worship CDs than books. Enthusiasts tend to be more relational, and therefore favor group worship. You feed off the excitement of other believers praising God.

As an enthusiast, you also revel in God's mystery and supernatural power. You like to take spiritual risks, and wake up hoping God will do something new and fresh. You don't want to just know scriptural concepts; you want to experience and be moved by them. Your exuberance tends to lead you to explore the livelier elements of worship, such as dancing, music, drawing, singing and other creative forms.

The Intellectual
You're an intellectual if your heart is awakened when you understand new concepts about God. Your mind is probably very active, with the result that new intellectual understanding literally births affection; it creates increased respect for your Creator, which leads to worship.

Intellectuals are usually the ones stressing Bible study as the mainstay of their devotion. But some of you, like the biblical Solomon, may also have curious minds in areas beyond the Bible - biology, astronomy, even physics. The more you understand about truth and God's universe, the more in awe of God - and therefore in love with Him - you become.

Just as the naturalist can't wait to get out of doors, the sensate is eager to visit the cathedral, and the ascetic scurries off into his inner world, so the intellectual seeks God in the pages of a book, the shelves of a library, or the vast ruminations of your mind.

The Contemplative
Contemplatives are marked by an emotional attachment and even abandonment to God. Like Mary who sat at Jesus' feet, you see yourself first and foremost as God's lover, and you want to spend your time in God's presence, adoring Him, listening to Him, and just enjoying Him.

You resemble ascetics in that your passion for God often leads you into solitude, where you can sit still and enjoy being in God's presence. Your watchwords are desire and relationship, as affirmed by Jesus in John 15:15: "I no longer call you servants... Instead, I have called you friends."

As a contemplative, you enjoy doing the things that couples like to do: Demonstrating your love for God through secret acts of devotion, giving gifts to God like a poem, or offering an anonymous act of charity. You often favor the discipline of journal writing, where you can intensely explore your heart's devotion.

Most of Us Are Blends
Intellectuals want to understand new things about God; activists want to fight God's battles; enthusiasts want to experience God; naturalists want to meet God in nature; sensates want to see and touch things that remind them of God; traditionalists want to faithfully remember God; ascetics want to be alone with God; caregivers want to be God's hands and feet; contemplatives want to adore God and to know Him better.

Do you see yourself in any of the above categories? Please don't feel that you have to choose just one; most of us are blends, and many of us will move in and out of certain temperaments as we age. The important thing is not to find the right "label," but to understand how you best connect with God so that you can more deliberately and consciously cultivate an increasing affection for your Creator.

One caveat is in order, however. Every Christian, regardless of their temperament, needs to spend appropriate time being shaped by God's Word. Some of you might join group Bible studies, others of you may sit alone with your word dictionaries, concordances, and lexicons, and others of you might regularly listen to the Bible on tape - but interacting with the Word on a daily basis should be a given. The same goes for prayer and times of worshipful adoration. How and where you pray may differ; but every Christian is called to spend time with God.

The good news is that God crafted you with a specific design. You will certainly bear similarities to certain other believers, but you most celebrate the creative quality of God when you give yourself permission to seek His face in a way that honors His creative genius - beginning with your own spiritual makeup.
-by Gary Thomas

So what do you think? As for me, I am a tie between a contemplative and a naturalist, with a very strong third being an entusiast. If you'd like to take an online assessment to find out what your style may be, follow this link- then let me know what your results were!!!
You've Got Style

Extravagant Waste and Oscar Schindler

2006-07-30T07:05:00.000-05:00

This blog will depart from my normal philosophical and theological track- so I'm sorry- but I needed to rant just a little. I have to watch what I say though because of some of my readers- I dont' want to get myself in trouble. Pretty sad that you cant' be completely open and honest on your own blog, but hey, you know how it is. If you question anything, go against the status quo or be negative in any way, or even if you're just generally disagreeing, you're seen as gossiping or being rebellious. So, I guess I'll just speak in generalities. (I may have earned myself some questions just by making those statements.)

Ok there's no way to say this but just to come out and say it. It's amazing to me the things money is spent on. Why do I go spend $20 on a DVD when I could give it to a needy family and their child could have a lunch to take to school for a week or two? Or 5 of us could give up a DVD or our Starbucks coffee for a couple of days(and just drink the free coffee at work) and we could help pay a family's high electric bill so they wouldn't have to go without AC in these hot summer months. Or help them pay for gas in their car so they could get to work to support their family. Or send some bibles to China to those who have never had the privilege to own a Bible, much less read one! (I've got at least 25 Bibles in my house, all different versions, not counting the ones on my Palm. And there are millions of Christians around the world who don't own one. Instead of spending $50 to buy me another one, that same amount could buy dozens in a foreign country!)

Instead of raising money to buy new chairs at your church, how about keeping the chairs you have and sending that money to buy chairs for a church overseas who has been sitting on the ground(and probably doing more for the kingdom than your church)!

I waste money too, so I'm not trying to be self-righteouss. God knows Alisah and I could do better. But I'm not just speaking about individuals. That's not even my main point. I think there's a lot of wasteful spending. it irritates me, when money is spent on insignificant things when there are so much more important things that can be done. Things that actually impact the Kingdom. Things that make a difference to Father.

The end of the movie Schindler's List always gets me- it's the end of WWII, and the Allies are closing in on Germany, so all of the people who had been loyal to the Nazis are trying to escape Berlin so they are not captured or killed. Oscar Schindler is looking at all of his possessions, and saying very remorsefully that if he had just not spent the money on those things, such as his car, his jewelry, watch, coat, he could have paid for more Jews to come to work at his factory so they didn't have to go to the death camps. His words are "I could have saved 1 more".

How much money have we spent on unimportant things that we could have used to impact just one more life with Father's love? I think it's an extravagant waste. And that's all I am going to say about that.

Missing the Point

2006-07-05T22:56:00.000-05:00

Call me crazy if you want. Many of you know God's been taking me on a wild journey over the past year or so. Most of you don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes though.

So I've decided it's time for me to be open with my thoughts and my beliefs; my new theology, if you will. Although even calling it "new theology" would say to some that I am trying to either point fingers and criticize existing theology, or start a new church. They might even say that I have started getting off track or even backslidden. None of that is true though, and if you think that, you're missing the point.

Which brings me to my first thought in this new series of blogs. (This may not be new thinking to some of you. If so, please be patient as I rethink my faith and "work out my own salvation" here on Blogger.) Have you ever looked at church and Christianity and felt like we're just not getting it? Like we're not quite doing what we're supposed to be doing? That we're missing the point?

Take salvation, for example. Ask any Christian how they became a Christian and they'll tell you a story of how they answered an altar call, prayed the sinner's prayer at the end of a good salvation message, or were led in the sinner's prayer by a close friend, family member, or TV or radio preacher. Many will tell you that the point of the Christian life is to try to live like Jesus did, try not to sin, and share Him with everybody so that we can go to heaven when we die.

But is that really what being a follower of Jesus is all about? To make sure we have our "business straight with God" so that "if we died tonight, we know without a doubt we would go to Heaven"?

I don't think so. I think to be focused on trying to make sure we make Heaven, and trying to save the multitudes from eternal damnation is missing the whole point of Jesus's message. Sure, we want to get to heaven. Sure, we don't want people to go to hell when they die. But I think for Jesus, and for Paul and the other New Testament authors, the point of Jesus's message was that the Kingdom of God is here now. Jesus wasn't focused on getting people into Heaven, he was focused on changing the way people lived their lives in the Kingdom of God in the present. Jesus was concerned with Kingdom living today. Salvation wasn't a one time event, as we've reduced it to in our Sunday morning messages and Friday night crusades/revivals, it was a lifelong journey.

Imagine watching a race: the runners are lined up on the starting blocks, set to sprint to the finish line. The gun goes off, the runners explode off of the blocks, but after only 3 or 4 steps, they all stop, turn to each other, and start celebrating. Some are giving each other high fives, some are jumping up and down screaming, "I'm a runner! I'm a runner!" Some are off by themselves crying tears of joy quietly, others are gathered in circles holding hands and singing songs about how great it is to have started the race, and how wonderful it will be when the race is over.

Pretty ridiculous, isn't it? Yet don't we treat our Christianity that way? We often see salvation as the finish line; at the very least, if we don't see it that way, we often treat it that way. Once you've accepted Christ, that's it, hang in there til you die and you'll go to heaven! Now that you're a Christian, you're in this world, but not of it. God has saved you from this wicked, evil world. It's seen as the main focus of Christianity- get em saved and get em in church. How do we present salvation to people? That if they don't accept Jesus they will go to hell! "Salvation" means "rescue"- but I think it is not just rescue from our present problems, as it was for the ancient Jew, nor is it just rescue from an eternity in hell and this fallen world, as it is for modern day Christians. Rather, I think salvation means being "rescued from fruitless ways of life here and now, to share in God's saving love for all creation, in an adventure called the kingdom of God."

To sum up, I will quote the book I am reading now(which addresses many of the things I have been thinking and rethinking over the past 12 months)-

"Is salvation for you a one-time experience? Or is it a lifetime journey? Is it rescue from your uncomfortable circumstances...or rescue from this world after death...or is it about being rescued from a life that is disconnected from God and God's adventure, both in this life AND the next? Is salvation about stepping across a line--or is it about crossing a starting line to begin an unending adventure in this life and beyond?"

Let me know what you think. Are we missing the point?

"I wonder what sort of tale we've fallen into?"

2006-05-16T20:34:00.000-05:00

I'll give you a shiny penny if you can tell me where that quote came from.

Have you ever walked in a room in the middle of a movie, or at the end, and you just didn't get it? Ever walked in on a bunch of girls watchin a chick flick and you just didn't understand what all the fuss was about? Have you ever walked in on someone watching reruns of Beverly Hills 90210, heard them cry, "Dylan really does love Kelly!" and you wondered what the big deal was?

Have you ever felt that way about life-like you walked in in the middle of something and you just can't figure out what's going on? I think a lot of us feel that way sometimes. Like we can't figure out what life is all about, much less what part we're supposed to play.

Want to know what I think? You probably do a little otherwise you wouldn't be reading my blog. I think that just like understanding a movie, or a book, we have to start at the beginning. Some people like to read the end of the book first, or fast forward through the boring parts of movies to see the exciting ending. Not me. I have to be a part of something from the beginning- the set-up, the character development, the build to the climax, etc. I think that's the only way to truly understand the depth of anything.

Take Easter, for example. Lots of people celebrate Easter as Jesus dying on the cross and rising from the grave. Yes, that's what happened at Easter, but I don't think that's what it's all about. Easter for me is the climax of the grandest love story of all time. Easter Sunday just doesn't make sense without the cross on Friday. And the cross doesn't make sense without the manger in Bethlehem. And the manger just doesn't make sense without the Garden of Eden. It's all intertwined, and I think if you don't remember that you've lost part of the story.

So let's apply it to our lives. What story are you a part of? Is it just what has happened to you since you were born 15, 20, 30 years ago? Are you just a part of the story of your family? Or are we all part of something much more epic, bigger than we could imagine yet casting us in crucial roles?

That's what I think. God's story didn't end with the revelation of John. That was just the end of another chapter. His story still goes on today, and I'm a part of it. And if I am to fully understand my role in the epic, I have to start at the beginning. I have to look at my story in context with the grand tale that has been going on for over 4000 years. Then I can begin to understand what part I am to play and what my purpose is in life.

And it all makes so much more sense.

Myspace

2006-04-17T20:05:00.000-05:00

I've been blogging over at myspace, if anyone cares. I kind of neglected blogger here. But I'll keep up with it now because I got new business cards and they have this blog's address on them. So, maybe I'll get more traffic here.

If you're wanting info on Ekklesia, we currently meet at The Worship Center for our monthly worship gathering on the first Sunday night of every month, at 6:00 p.m. We also meet the 4th Sunday night of every month(for now) at our house, for an ongoing conversation about faith and life. E-mail me for more details.

It's Christmas time in the city...

2005-12-16T08:29:00.000-06:00

Which means of course, that I have been extremely busy since the last time I posted. From camping out at Best Buy on Thanksgiving for 9 hours, to finishing(almost) the nursery, to selling loads of garbage on eBay (shameless plug), to Christmas shopping, to gathering and planning and drinking coffee and trying to get people to understand exactly what is going on inside my head, I really haven't had much time to get on here and actually put down my thoughts. Seems more and more lately I've had an outlet to express what God's been teaching and showing me, even if I'm not very good at explaining it in a way people can understand.

Which brings me to, I guess, a good topic for this post. I've discovered lately the importance of "context". Whenever I hear that word I think back to standardized tests in grade school that would always ask questions based on the context of a certain passage. The questions would have multiple choice answers, all of which could possibly be right, depending on the context of the passage. So you really couldn't grasp the meaning unless you knew the context.

Example: I am a huge fan of the show LOST. At the beginning of this season, we learned that the survivors we spent all last season learning about were not the only survivors of the plane crash on the island. Apparently there were several people from the tail section of the plane on the other side of the island(which is huge) that had no idea anyone else had survived either. Through a series of events they have come to find out there are other survivors, and they journeyed across the island to meet up with the others. There was a tearful reunion on the beach, including a scene between a husband and wife who had been separated. The wife had been saying all along she knew her husband was alive, and she deeply believed God would reunite them. The husband has lost hope that his wife was alive. But then they were reunited on the beach, along with everyone else, and I did need a Kleenex.

So of course, my wife loving the emotion of stories like this, I called her in and rewound the scene and told her she just had to see this. She watched, and simply said, "Oh, that's nice." She wasn't as touched as I was, obviously.

It couldn't have possibly had the same effect on Alisha as it did me, because she hadn't been involved with the show for a year and a half. She didn't know every character's back-story, she hadn't been a part of all the struggles, trials, victories, joy, and tears that I had been a part of. She was experiencing one scene out of the context of the larger story, and as a result, it had a different meaning for her.

So what does this mean? I have been able to apply this simple concept to lots of things recently. Back to what I was saying earlier, I sometimes have a hard time explaining to people my thought processes about things as of late. But I have to understand that they are hearing a few thoughts out of the context of my life and journey. Because they are hearing these thoughts in the context of their own life, it has a different meaning, or no meaning at all, to them. I have to give them food for thought on their own journey and let them come to their own conclusions.

Just yesterday I was having a conversation at Aroma's, and we started talking about being completely relevant and completely Biblical. Someone was commenting that people sometimes may be turned off by the Bible because they think of it as being a bunch of rules telling them what to do and what not to do. Which is not entirely inaccurate, because it certainly has "laws" of things to do and things not to do, but that is a small portion. I began to think, and commented, that people think that because they've heard those things out of context. The church has always been big on telling people the things they should and should not do in order to make heaven. Outside the context of God's story, these seem like rules and regulations made to control someone's life. For those of us who know the whole story, we understand these parts of the Bible, and they have different meaning for us. But for those who don't have the context, it can be somewhat of a turn-off.

And what about Christmas? Many people have heard the Christmas story, seen the TV specials, heard Linus tell it to Charlie Brown, sang the Christmas carols, but how many have heard it in the context of God's story? Think about it. A baby born to a virgin, who is the Son of God, and people come to worship him. Yes, miraculous, but the significance is lost if you don't understand that history had been building to this point ever since the Garden of Eden. The Christmas story didn't start upon a midnight clear in the little town of Bethlehem. It really began centuries before, when God first promised that the woman's offspring would crush the serpent's head(Gen 3:15). It had been prophesied over and over. The Jewish feasts were signs and hope of things to come. They spoke of Messiah, the Savior who would come to save the people. It means something different when you understand this baby was God, born into flesh He formed from the dust of the ground, suckled at the breast He Himself created, born into an imperfect world created in the beginning to be perfect but corrupted by His own creation, yet also fully Man. Obviously there's lots more, because the story doesn't end their either. This God-man chose to die to take the punishment for everything we'd ever do, anything all of his creation would ever do. Then He promised to go prepare a place for us all, and to one day create it all anew, to once again have a perfect creation where corruption would never show its ugly face again. Christmas is about more than presents and Santy Claus, sure, we all know that. But Christmas is about a lot more than just a baby in a manger as well. It's a climax in the human story, which is God's story, the greatest love story, between us and God.

So, in short, let's be aware of context. Let's retell the whole story, and not just bits and pieces. And let's remember, the story did not end with John's Revelation. That was just a preview of the end. The story is still happening, it is still being written, and you and I are a part. We're characters in this grand epic that has been going on for thousands of years. What's your part?

Old Book

2005-12-16T07:41:00.001-06:00

Several years ago, when I was an intern at an A/G church, we hired a new pastor and he decided it was time to clean house. Quite literally. Suffice it to say, during a period of about 8 months, my main job was to make things disappear, very quietly. Our church had a small library, which was not used much. I don't think any new books had been added to it in at least 10 years. The pastor decided there were better uses for the room, so I was to quietly donate the contents to Wayland Baptist University. However, as I was preparing to become a minister myself, the pastor told me I was free to keep any books for myself that I liked.

If you know me, I love to read, anything and everything, so I was like a kid in a candy store. I probably kept 15-25 books, including a set of Collier's Bible encyclopedias. I can count the number of those books I've cracked since then on one finger. Maybe 3 fingers.

But the other day, as I was cleaning out the office to make way for the nursery, I decided to open one of the books. It's called "10,000 Religious Quotations" or something like that. All sorts of quotations from thinkers of all different religions, arranged by topic. So, of course, immediately turned to the W's, and looked at "WORSHIP". I began to skim the quotes. All good, but nothing that jumped out at me right away. Then I found this one, which I will share with you now:

"O my Lord, if I worship Thee from fear of Hell, burn me in Hell,
and if I worship Thee from hope of Paradise, exclude me thence;
but if I worship Thee for Thine own sake, then withhold not from me thine Eternal Beauty."-Rabia Al-Adawiyya (Muslim saint, 717 to 801 AD)

Wow. That sums up what I've been trying to teach everyone I worship with for the past year and a half. And this coming from a Muslim. Sometimes I think we Christians just don't get it. God isn't a vending machine, he's not a self-help resource, he's not someone we go to to get our current life crisis taken care of.

He should be worshipped for who He is, not for what He can do for us. Of course we should worship God for what he does and has done, but we shouldn't worship God to get the benefits. It's the old "seek the giver, not the gift" thing. Anyway, just wanted to share this quote.

Ekklesia

2005-11-02T08:29:00.000-06:00

Last night we had our second meeting for the new alt. worship service we are starting at our church. The official name is now Ekklesia, which is the Greek word for community, or assembly, depending on who you talk to. Aptly named, as I believe we need to shift from a mind set of "going to church" to "being the church." We had some great dialogue I felt, and I learned some things about people I didn't know. We had a couple of writers/poets in the room, which really fired me up. Then our resident photographer/artist suggested he put pictures to their words and everyone started getting excited as we realized that we could truly become the Body of Christ, all of us using our individual gifts to compliment one another to bring glory to God. I don't know about anyone else, but it really stirred something inside me, as I started to see things I've been dreaming about actually start to take shape. There were many good ideas thrown out, and I hope I took good enough notes to remember them all. Note to self: get someone to take notes next time, cause I suck at it. I get to talking or get engaged in what someone is saying and I forget to write things down. Alisha would be good at that.

We also decided we would meet at Daybreak Coffee Roasters periodically just to fellowship outside of our weekly worship gathering, to build relationships with each other and with others we come in contact with who might not come to a service. Because after all, if we really are trying to "be the church", that means taking Christ into every part of our lives, and not drawing a line to separate our "church life" and "world life". When those lines start to blur and we let Christ permeate every aspect of who we are and what we do, then we are truly being the church, and that's what true worship is all about- acknowledging Him in everything we do.

So things are moving along for Ekklesia, which will begin in January 2006. Our next meeting is at the end of November, and we'll start actually planning our gatherings for January.

3 Men and a Honda

2005-10-18T00:40:00.000-05:00

So I should have updated this last Monday, but I was so tired from the weekend I couldn't think straight.

This past Sunday Matt and I took a road trip to Dallas to go to Journey, an alternative service/church plant of Gaston Oaks Baptist Church. Why? I wanted to get a feel for a multi-sensory, "emerging" church, and I found a link to Journey at Ginkworld.

We stopped in Fort Worth and picked up our good friend Wally. He's a trucker and he's only lived in FW a couple of months. He was wanting to check out this church with us b/c he hasn't found a home church yet. First we went to Grapevine Mills mall and ate at the Rainforest Cafe. The we went over to Outdoor World cause Wally needed some fishing tackle. Then we headed to Journey.

When we got there, someone was standing at the bottom of the stairs and they handed us a bulletin/newsletter, and said, "Welcome to Journey! Go right on up, and tonight we're entering in silence." I looked at the bulletin and it read,

"TONIGHT--Sunday Gathering

Join us for a different kind of Sunday Gathering. Experience liturgy, communion, and a taste of a mass service."

So we didn't know what to expect. I think we were all like. "Ohhhh kay..." When we went in, everything was lit only by candles, and was silent. There were 5 or 6 TV's that read, "Welcome to Journey Please Enter in Silence". I immediately had the sense of being in a sacred place. The service itself was very liturgical, but with updated, cooler versions of some hymns. It really was pretty cool. The whole idea was to help us remember the past to look to the future. We had readings from the Old and New Testaments, responsive readings, and communion. There was a space in the back separated by a curtain that had several prayer stations and lots of crosses, candles, and art created by the members of the community. I think Matt and Wally were bored, but I thought it was a pretty neat experience. It reminded me that I am a part of a story that has been going on for hundreds and thousands of years.

I'd like to go back to see what their regular Sunday gatherings look like. If you're ever in the Dallas area, give Journey a try.

A to Z of Alt. Worship

2005-10-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

I found this cool blog today with an A-to-Z of alternative worship. I thought it was good, and informative for those who ask, "so just what is this all about?" It's a good primer. Here's the link:

A to Z of Alt. Worship

And the adventure continues...

2005-10-09T21:26:00.000-05:00

Well, I said I wasn't going to write my life story, but still I wrote a very long entry. Sorry about that.

So picking up where we had left off...

As I read Dan's book, I realized what I had been feeling wasn't just me. There is more to it than this. I had always felt the church in general seemed to be a vendor of sorts, with people coming when they needed to get some help in a crisis or wanted a blessing or their relatives were sick. And it seemed the church catered to those sorts of people, doling out religious goods and services as needed. Of course it was preached that it was "all about God, and not about us," but it seems most sermons in the modern church were basically self-help inspirational messages, given by an uber-Tony Robbins character and culminating in everyone feeling good about themselves before they faced their everyday lives on Monday. Sometimes there'd be a mid-week "refilling" service. But on the whole it seemed to me that the modern methodology of church was far removed from the way it operated in the first century.

Basically what I'm saying is that today you hear about "going to church," whereas I believe the Bible clearly teaches that "we ARE the church." In the first century, there was no such phrase as "going to church". You couldn't go to church. Because the believers WERE the church. They were concentrated on being the church wherever they were, not just once or twice a week. Sure, they gathered together on a regular basis, but they didn't make a distinction between the way they lived at their gatherings and the way they lived every other day of the week.

I think we need to get back to this sort of "vintage Christianity", to borrow a term. When we attend our weekly worship gatherings, are we coming as consumers, or are we actively participating to bring something to God? Do we see ourselves as the audience, or is God our Audience? Are we being the church throughout the week instead of just the days we decide to darken the church doors?

Let me know what you think. These are just a few of the many questions and thoughts I've been having over the past several months, and I'm interested to hear what others have to say about them. Til next time!

(A disclaimer: I am not here to argue with anyone, nor blast or degrade any person, religion, denomination, or belief system. While I realize people disagree, we can still engage in conversation without arguing. That's all I'm here for is conversation. I will not respond to argumentative or derogatory posts.)

There's got to be more to it than this...

2005-10-06T00:36:00.000-05:00

Why create a blog?

So I asked myself, why should I have my own blog? What could I possibly have to say that anyone else would want to read? I guess it's more for myself than anything. To give myself an outlet to kind of sort through all the thoughts I'm having and issues I'm raising and concepts and traditions that I am deconstructing, rethinking, and reconstructing. To put everything down in written form and help me sort through it all, as God leads me on this wild adventure into the unknown(well, unknown for me). And if along the way anyone is able to connect with my thoughts and somehow give voice to their own, as I did by reading what others have written, well, then I guess that's just a bonus.

So, I guess a little info on myself is in order. I'll keep it brief, as I don't think my entire life story is necessary. Although I do find that my whole life has somehow been preparation in one way or another for what I'm doing now and about to do.

I've known since I was 13 that I was "called into the ministry". That's Christianese for "God had a special job for me". But I believe God has a special purpose for all of us, so does that mean we're ALL "called to the ministry"? That's another conversation for another time.

I've served as a children's pastor, an interim youth pastor, a youth pastor, and a worship pastor, along with various and sundry support and leadership positions, many simultaneously, for the past 10 years. I've seen the ins and outs of ministry, church, pastors, lay leaders, deacon boards, elders, and just about everything else you can imagine that goes on in modern evangelical Christianity, much of which the average church goer never sees. I believe God allowed me to see all this to open my eyes to the bigger picture. Somewhere along the line I began to think, in the back of my mind, "There's got to be more to it than this."

About a year ago I finally had reached the point where I didn't know where to go next. I was the worship pastor at my church, my wife and I had been the interim youth pastors for a year, and I was up against a brick wall. I didn't know where to go next. In my ministry, my marriage, and my life. Again, I kept asking myself, "There's got to be more to it than this. Surely this is not all there is, singing 3 fast songs and 3 slow songs, and just keeping up with the latest and greatest make-me-feel-good worship songs that come out." I didn't know what to do, and my wife and I were feeling the strains of being newly married and running two ministries in the church, along with various other duties, so I talked with our pastor, and stepped down.

Basically I needed a sabbatical. That's Christianese for "rest because you're stressed out". I didn't know what would happen, but I knew I needed to figure some things out, because there had to be more to it than this. Since I wasn't having to plan the worship services or in any other way lead them or pastor the team, I had a chance to objectively observe what was going on. Basically we had what I categorize as "observatory worship". Others would call this "consumer worship". It happens every Sunday all over America. People come to church for the worship "show", get warmed up for the sermon, get their warm fuzzy feeling, then leave feeling better about themselves and their lives. Everything was done as a service to the people. Because of this, we had caused people to think of the church as a provider of religious goods and services, and I realized this had been true in every church I had ever been a apart of. It wasn't my church. It was the mindset of modern Christianity, and it was about much more than what style of music we had, if we used guitar and drums or piano and organ, or if we sang hymns or choruses. Whether it was intentional or not, it was something we, as pastors and leaders, had created in our people because of the way we did church. I knew we had to do something to make this more of a "participatory worship experience" that would cause people to be participators rather than casual observers. So I began to explore multi-sensory, experiential worship.

I soaked up everything I could in the form of books, magazines, websites, blogs, and audio. But a funny thing happened. I kept running across these phrases: emerging church and emerging worship. I'd heard of Dan Kimball's book, Emerging Worship, but had never read it. I decided now was as good a time as any.

What I read struck a chord in me. Here was a guy, from California no less, who wrote like he had a direct audio feed from my brain. All the issues and thoughts he proposed were things I had been feeling for years but never knew how to express them. I knew there had to be more to it than what we were doing, and I had just begun to discover what it could be...

to be continued...